Sunday, September 13, 2009

late night thoughts....they never let you sleep

I absolutely love to write. I have been writing for as long as I can remember. I have notebooks and composition books, and folders and binders and loose papers everywhere in this house from the times of being a teenager.

I came across a composition book that I had started writing in while still in Junior High School... there were some of my earliest poems in there. I really wonder what in the world went through my young mind. There are thoughts and feelings and emotions in those words that I KNOW I have never experienced at that age. It makes me think that I have always been this wounded creature. Who knows.... maybe most early and late teens have similar thought processes.

Well, last night I wanted to get on an write something... but it was about 4am... and that just wanted happening. However, I couldn't sleep because the damned thoughts were rushing my mind and not letting me rest long enough for the sandman to come in whisk me off to a restful (hahaha-yeah right) slumber.

So, I took out one of my many notebooks and wrote it down so that I can transfer the thoughts to my wonderful blog. So here is goes...

I watched a movie this night-the title is of no consequence. The movie was a depiction of a time our country was at war. The story was real, the story rang true... though the actors played fictional characters- the lives lost during the retelling only mimic the lives of those truly lost.

The direction of this film shadowed the lives of those who were enemies in a time well gone. Again, completely understanding, fictional people were used to show the similarities of the human race.

Through my life I have known power to be what the greedy and selfish seek- and the force behind their drive have proven to be deadly at all costs. Moral are different between all, which makes us each more alike then many care to recognize.

This film, although unreal, brought and ache to my heart and tears to my eyes. Yet an awakening to my soul- to comprehend: Men and women through generations have battles, while more than one single person can imagine have lost their own life battle to ensure that every day people regardless of race, religion, sexuality, or country can continue to fight their own personal life battles.

The premise behind each war is for the increased power- yet to me, with my little awakening and opening of my eyes- is the power to continue living.

I have taken advantage and have taken for granted the simplicity of waking each morning with shelter, food and the love my children. I have assumed that is is my right to maintain my life style- while complaining over trivial displeasures.

I have awakened to learn that it is my privilege to be able to wake each day and rest each night- because somewhere in the world someone is fighting the battle to allow me and all other people the ability to continue on.

That is what I wrote last night at 4 in the morning... I mean there were about a million of thought flooding my mind, but that is what I was able to get to paper. I also remembered how stinking long it takes to write something out versus typing it. The wonders and convenience of technology.

Well, I think one of these days, I will also put up some of my past work... things that I wrote years ago... even over a decade ago. Crazy!