Tuesday, December 7, 2010

9 days....

I closed my eyes today... and the same image kept coming to mind. Have you ever had a day where you couldn't concentrate because you mind was running rampant with thoughts that have completely taken over??? I have been this way for the past two days now!

Yet, it has led me to think about something I hadn't in a really long time. I had the privilege of meeting an amazing woman years ago... I would say pretty close to 6 to 7 years ago. I had only met her that once, it was a chance encounter, we happened to be at the same restaurant one night.

It was not long after I had found out about him cheating on me again... and I was done... (hahaha-yeah right)! I was devastated because I just didn't know what was wrong with me. Why he didn't want me. Thinking back, thank god he didn't want me!

Well, she seen a look on my face and I confided in her. A complete stranger!! She was like a little angel sent down to be there for me at that moment. I told her my story and my pain. She hugged me, a total stranger... filled with compassion for this simple distraught girl.

She told me her first marriage ended that way. He was a lying cheating bleep bleep and she couldn't be made to feel like nothing anymore. She left him. They had no children so it was easier, but she struggled everyday with it. Then she told me (the part that sticks out the most) that she was done no longer living. She was ready to live again and stop waiting for life to do something for her.

She went on a trip and met a man. They were married 9 days later. 9 days!!! That was it. She said she knew by the end of that first night, she was going to marry that man. She said he told her the same thing, years later. When I met her all those years ago, she and her husband were married for 21 years. She told me she loved him more and more everyday. She also told me that no matter what, how terrifying something may seem, how bad you have been hurt in the past, and no matter how hard it is to do so... Do not ever stop living!!

I think about her every now and then, I remember her fondly. She was a shining star and to this day her story has given me hope that no matter what lies ahead, so long as I move forward without reservation, I will be OK.

I have had some whirlwind events take place recently that have me lost in thought. I can't come to a decision and I don't know in which direction I should travel. It is moments like these I realize how weak I am. How something can take told of me and I just let it.

I have two paths ahead of me... Which to take, I don't know. Either way, I fear pain will follow. Am I willing to take a chance... Absolutely!