Wednesday, January 28, 2009

What will she say next?

Well, kids do say the darnedest (is that even a word) things.... We were in the car today... I know not a completely smart move since the streets are covered in a layer of ice with some sloshy snow on top.... But anyways, we were picking them up from spending the afternoon at their cousins house and they were a little rowdy... Starting to verge on a fight between Kyle and Cadence...

So, I say, Ok lets see who can be the quietest on the rest of the ride home. Ready set go!!!!
Well, for about a minute if that... It was quiet... you could hear a pin drop. Well, Cadence starts to giggle and calls a time out... She thinks that everything should have a time out but that is another story for another day. She gets her giggles out and says time in... Then Kyle who feels the need to get in on some of this time out action, he calls one and says alright there are no time outs in this game and we are to be completely quiet til we get home, Ready set GO!

Cadence gets all giggly again and whispers... Hey, Kyle can we at least breathe.... We lost it! I started to snort. We were all cracking up.... So the car ride home was semi silent with the random giggle or snort coming from each of us in the car.

Then later on this evening; Kyle was in the Kitchen getting his homework done, just in case he has school tomorrow... Cadence who just loves to annoy the living shit out of him, keeps popping her head in the kitchen cracking up laughing or calling out his name, then popping back into the living room to hide behind the couch. Well, after a couple of minutes of this she of course gets into trouble so she is off to find her DS to play a little before bed. She sees that it is plugged in charging and I tell her that she needs to wait til tomorrow to play... She proceeds to pulling up a little chair she got for Christmas to where the DS is plugged in so she can play while not unplugging it.

Then some time passes and it is bedtime... Usually a chore for me most everynight... but getting better. I tell Cadence it is time to go to bed and she so nonchalantly tells me no.... and keeps on playing her game. She looks up and tells me she doesn't feel like going to bed. Well, I am working on staying calm because she isn't listening and from cracking up because she is so blunt and truthful it kills me. I proceed to tell her, That is too bad, it is bedtime... so Lets Go!

Still doesn't even look up at or even feel the need to respond this time and keeps on playing. So, I ask Jason why the kids never listen to me. Why is it they think I am saying nothing at all sometimes... He doesn't respond... There's my answer... hahaha... But Cadence pauses her game looks up at me and says, "Sometimes we just don't want to. That's all..."

I lost it... I couldn't hold back anymore... I started to crack up laughing... Having my 4 year (who will be 5 in about 2 weeks) just tell me like it is.

Other than that... I spent the day with my little bug, Kaleb, who just absolutely refused to have anything to do with pants today... We watched some cartoons and played. It was a really nice and calm day in my household....

I am really starting to get used to this being home and not working my ass off for some company who doesn't appreciate a thing anyone of its employees does.... I like not being crazed with stress everyday.

Well, that is enough of my rambling garble... night night!

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

little bird

I wanted to write something else today... but thought that there was something else I would rather write... I have a friend who is really in need of having all her allies with her at this time... So, I wanted to post this in hopes that she reads it and sees that I will always be on her side.

I believe you to be a little bird...Wild with life and full of adventure
A tattered youth falling from your nest
Growing your wings and surviving even when all was lost
Your timid voice heard only by a lucky few, was silenced by those who only want a little pet
Your wings were trimmed at your submission
Caged by fear of loneliness
Your heart cries out for the open sky

Another little bird greets you at your window
Strength she gives you to fill your heart
Love she gives you to grow strong again

Strength little bird has come to you
Sing little bird and fly
For the sky is endless
Yet, never empty.... You will never be alone little bird.

Friday, January 23, 2009

nothing about nothing

So today was my first day as a newly fired person. I think that it takes a dig at my ego. Not that I thought that I was untouchable, but that I never thought I would ever really get fired. But I guess I always new it was coming.

Just before I went back to work in November I talk to a few people about how I thought that my office would treat me like crap. Put me in a position that I would hate, treat me differently, and even try to get me to quit. Well, if I look back everything they did from the time I got back until their final decision yesterday screams volumes of how true that was. I took a new position and took on additional responsibilities. Then I started to take over even more obligations from the girl I worked with in the department. I had took over almost half of her duties....

Well, then people started to treat me differently, like I was the plague or something. Hell, as sick as I was I would try to avoid close contact too... hahaha... But it was different... I could sense it.

So anyway, today was a pretty decent day. I was relaxed. Not at all stressed out. I took each step without worrying about how fast I was going to get it all done. I was at ease in a way. I mean I still have to get the kids ready in the morning, but I wasn't rushed to get them out the door so that I wasn't late for work.

I didn't really know what to do with myself... No work, not sick, no kids.... WHAT THE?????
So, I decided that I would just hang out at home and relax. I am addicted to a game on the DS called Bust a Move and I played that for a little while until i fell asleep... hahaha... imagine waking up being confused because you were just dreaming about being in a forest being chased by different colored balls.... It was wild.

Then I just cleaned.... it was so nice to really clean. Not just straighten up, but clean. I LOVE a clean house. I picked up the kids and the highlight of our day was going thru one of those automated car washes... The kids love those things! Came home, had McDonalds for dinner and now my niece is over for the night.

So... folks that is that.... Nothing to write home about that is for sure.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

In shock

So earlier I had started a blog about something totally different... but after the events of today; i must vent about it.

So- I am currently unemployed and not by my own personal choice. Granted, I wasn't loving my job anymore; however, I was shocked to see how the procedure of a company just flew out the window and people are treated.

I understand the politics of an office and I understand the Administrative side to things. Yet, when you have an employee in which is deemed "valuable" and "irreplaceable" (words they have used) to just fire them-or and I quote "let you go" without warning or any form of action plan, it goes to show that the majority rules. By that I mean you HAVE to know someone inorder to stay employed somewhere these days.

So, I went into work today with the migrane from HELL! I thought that my little head was going to explode. I could barely keep my eyes open and I had been throwing up all night from the pain. Well, I knew that my department was in need of my being present today because of how behind we currently are. Well, I get to work and suffered thru my day as much as possible. Around 2pm the Co-Admin comes walking in and asks to see me in her office. I get up go into the office where her and the office manager share a little office. Shes shuts the door, and I figured I was going to be written up for my poor attendance.

She tells me I look terrible-I told explained that my head was pounding and how I haven't had a headache like this since I was admitted to the hospital with Viral Meningitis.... But I knew that I had to be here because I wanted to get the department back to where it needed to be. She looked down and said, "Well, this is going to make things a little harder." I was slightly confused, still not expecting the swift kick to the gut I was about to get.

She tells me that my attendance has been slacking, yet "we aren't holding your hospital stay against you" and that it has only been on a downward spiral. Well, I stated that I understood and that I have really been trying to get matters under control. I do not have many people around who can help me out with the kids when I get in a pinch and my mirgaines have been coming back full force.

Then she looks to the ground, not at me not at all. "This has come from the top of administration, we have to let you go." I stared at her in complete shock for what felt like an eternity and then all I could muster what, "you have got to be kidding me?"

She then proceded with, well you had to have seen this coming. I was dumbfounded-utterly speechless. Nothing would even surface for me to retort with. My mind was in shock.

Oddly enough a code blue was called thru out the office and she took off to the waiting room where something had happened to a patient.... While in there with just the office manager, she asked me if I was ok.... ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

I looked her in the eye and she turned away. Where in the HELL is the professionalism at people? I mean if you are going to fire someone, then at least give them the courtesy to look that person in the eye! I told her that I was utterly shocked that this didn't follow protocol. )That in the handbook we are told that a chain of events will take place unless the person at fault has endangered the office or staff in anyway. ) She replied to the floor-"we have talked to you about this before, amanda."

I informed her "no, karen! The only time my attendance was ever brought up was at my review in May. 8 months ago! Not once was I told we are going to need to write you up, or you need to watch your attendance, admin is looking at it and there is potential of letting you go. Where was the warning?" She had nothing to say.

Then the co- admin comes backs and has the audacity to say, "you can finish out the day if you like" ARE YOU F-ING KIDDING ME!!!!!!!!!!!! I looked her straight in the eye "I will not be giving you anymore of my life!" I walked out... started to gather my things and left....I did not say goodbye to anyone... I did not waste anytime leaving that place.

I am not sad that I no longer work there... I am disgusted that I worked my ass off for that company and was never compensated for it, and then they just fire me. I revamped 3 departments and got the entire Medical Records dept set up for electronic filing. I have covered multiple positions while still maintaining my own. I do not claim to be the best of the best... But I can honestly say that I am a kick ass employee... I feel cheated!

I have calmed down from my sheer sense of pissosity and no longer feel super pissed, but extremely bitter!

The aftermath of it all, brings to me the knowledge that when the shit hits the fan... you learn who your true friends are. Oh well, I have learned if the people you meet thru out your life do not make it from one phase to the next, then they are not worth becoming a part of your future.

Monday, January 19, 2009

my strangeness is so random

So, I have been really thinking about people and on whether or not humanity is doomed! I have been questioning what people really think or if there is hope left in others... is it just me that has a continual down slope of lost hope for anything good to happen.

I have been randomly texting and emailing and asking odd questions of some of the people I talk to often. Well, sometimes I get a response... People have lives that do not revolve around me, hahahaha!

Well, once I have completed that I will post about it... but it really is interesting to say the least to see how much people are alike. I mean we all had dreams when we were younger... and now that we are older only a fraction of my friends have actually followed those dreams. And there are life decisions that many of us could say we would make or do, but do we really know when the time comes.

Recently a friend of my had a mental melt down... and I as the faithful golden retriever friend that I am... was there to help her. I am not claiming to have helped her, but she was actually getting better with each stupidly random heart felt things I said to her. That is what makes me happy. Knowing that I am able to help someone else when they are in need.

I am not a needy person. I do not always want attention... I try to stay in the shadows so as to not be seen. But I will pop out if needed. I don't expect for anyone to pick me up when I am down, but you better believe I will be there for every one of my friends. I will be there for their glories and the faulters... I will be there no matter what.

Sorry... off course... oh well.... one day I will be back in the swing of things... with blogging and keeping in contact with all my friends more.... But as for right now... it is past my bed time.... me in bed before 1am... that is crazy!!!!

Much love to you all!

Saturday, January 17, 2009


I wrote this post... it wasn't much but it was something... and when i went to post it... I GOT AN ERROR!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

I will have to get back to you all on another post at another time!

Friday, January 16, 2009

soooo... its been awhile- found it- thanks jennie

Hello, all of you who may actually read what I randomly ramble on about.

It has been quite some time since I have posted. I do apologize. I have been spending much of my time working and playing with the kids... Life has been pretty odd without a computer in my life every night. However, Jennie, my lovely best friend, got a Wii for Christmas. Well, once she got addicted to tennis it sucked my sorry little soul in there too. So, many of my nights have been filled with playing the Wii with my kids and having a great time with them.

I must say that much has changed and pretty much for the good. They are all little things... Like things that may or may not be of any interest to you, yet are great milestones for me.

I will have to get back to you on that... I have two little monkeys at my feet, wanting me to come lay with them.... ahh the joys of motherhood... Kids who just won't go to bed.... :)