Monday, March 7, 2011

Reality or ???

There are so many times I have heard the phrase “looking through rose colored glasses”. You see what you want to see and that is that. Well, it is just NO fun when you are punched in the gut by reality.

Today I made a decision to walk away from a situation that just wasn’t healthy for me. I wanted it to be something that it wasn’t and never would be. No matter how hard I wished and hoped for it to be. A friend did the verbal sucker punch to the gut when she told me in the simplest right to the point statement that I had been avoiding all this time. BAM! UGH! Down for the count!

The thing with me… I don’t stay down long at all! I pop right back up and said… You really let me have it with that one, didn’t ya! No holding back! That is when she also informed me that she was tired of watching me yo-yo myself back and for and that she had to say something. You can only be supportive 100% for so long. She informed me that it was time to realize that what I wanted and what it really was ARE TWO DIFFERENT things.

Funny how we can create desire in our minds and after years of being brain washed to follow after what it is you want… You actually go for it and try something you otherwise would have never done. Yes, trying something new is a fantastic idea… but at what point to you learn that there is nothing that will ever change the outcome that this was and always will be a failed attempt?

So many times we see that person who just never gives up… How many of us really see determination? Probably the lesser part of 20% and that may be reaching a bit far. We see stupidity, ignorance, a person continuing putting himself in a degrading situation, hopeless, lost, and doomed for unrelenting failures.

I tried to maintain the positive here… I tried to keep telling myself, that there had to be a chance, be it small or not… it was there. I knew it was there. I JUST KNEW IT!!! I think my glasses weren’t only rose colored but also equipped with blinders and scented candles.

Yet, today, I decided that living in a state of mind that will lead me further away from where I should be is the wrong place for me.

But damnit wouldn’t it be great it Fat Free, low Calorie, healthy yummy tasting ice cream exisited???