Friday, November 7, 2008

I am a Mother!

I must admit that I do enjoy blogging. Not only does it allow me to express my thoughts and feelings, it helps to release some built up tension or frustration, but it helps to open my mind to realms that have been hidden and untouched for too long.

I have always had big plans for myself. Even when I was a little girl I knew that I wanted to be a mother, a mommy to loads of kids. Can you believe that I wanted 10 kids when I was 12? That was my idea of a perfect family. Well, as I started to get older I began to come in touch with the intellectual side that wanted greatness in my career. I was 16 when I decided that I was going to go to law school, work towards becoming a partner in a law firm, eventually work my way into becoming a judge and one day my final destination would be Supreme Court. Well, through all those dreams I would remind myself that being a mother was a full time job in and of itself. How would I do it all. I had come to the conclusion that I would do all the schooling get my license to practice law and then have a family. Yet, not devote the first years completely to my career. Once my kids were in school I would increase my drive for my career.

Well, God had other plans for this woman sitting here typing away. His plan was for me to have a family. I was 19 years old and only a couple of weeks into having just moved out of my mothers house for the first time when I was blessed with finding out I was going to be a mommy. I was only late by one day, but my friend and future sister-in-law came right over with a pregnancy test. She swore it, she said she just knew it. Well, HOLY COW!!!! Both of those tests came back positive. I sat there, in the bathroom on the floor, in complete shock.

We decided that since the test was the generic brand we would call in re-enforcements and get the expensive kind. I called my already pregnant sister-in-law and told her she needed to pick me up (i didn't have a car and Jason was at work) and we went out and got The EPT. That little sucker popped up with the two lines as well. She so was excited and so was I; but what was I going to tell my mom?

Well, I knew then that this was the path for me. I knew then that I was going to be a mom and no matter what I would work my behind off to be the best mother ever. I may not be perfect but I would die trying if I had to.

That was 1999. On June 8, 2000 I gave birth to an 8lb baby boy at 4:49am. Oh it was so natural (not delivery-give that epidural!). Like I was born to do this. Don't get me wrong there were times I thought I would never sleep again but I trudged through them like a soldier. He is now an 8 year old, Kyle Warren.

May 2003, I found out I was going to become a mother all over again. I was ready, I knew what to do. I had done this before and he came out pretty good. I had this in the bag. Well, this pregnancy wasn't as easy and the further along I became the more and more terrified I was that I wouldn't be able to love this new baby the same as I love the perfect little man I already had.

Well, I learned on February 9, 2004 at 10:57pm that love is infinite and it can only grow. After a few minutes of the midwife and nurse whispering at my feet (and women you know your feet aren't far from your ears while in labor) that the baby's heart rate was dropping and the cord was around her neck. There was no way I was letting the Lord take this baby from me. She came out in two evil pushes and wailed to me that she was OK. Cadence Carole weighed in at 7lbs 1oz. Smaller but just as perfect. She is now 41/2.

Well, the journey continued for me when I realized I was a week late in March of 2005. A week later I decided that it was time to take a test. Well, there are those double lines again. I was so excited. Another little perfection for me to pour all my love into. Again this pregnancy took a toll on my body, but not my spirit. This little monster was due in December, but he tried to make his debut in early October. The doctors and I made sure he understood it wasn't time. Well for our hindrance, he went past due date and finally arrived into this world at 6:59am December 21, 2005. I was only in labor with him for 59 minutes. Talk about being lucky getting to the hospital. Kaleb Jason, is 2 now and just a little over a month away from 3.

I am 28 years old and I have three of the most perfect children in this world. God had his own plan for me. I like this plan. I would never trade being a mother for anything in all the world- in all the universe.

But that is only a part of who I am.... Granted a huge majority role, but there is so much more to the person behind this mask.