Wednesday, October 7, 2009

howling at the moon

I love the moon and the stars. I could sit outside all night long and watch them as they travel along the sky. My favorite constellation is Orion. I could sit up all night long, warm or cold just to watch the sky.

I am not sure what it is. The calm serene simplicity of it all... maybe; probably. I can just stare and not think of anything else but the sky. I wish I had a better camera. I would have so many night shots, they may out weigh those of my kids... Doubt it (i would have to take pictures every night for the rest of my life to catch up to the number of pics I have of my kids).

I full of randomness. But lately I have been full of fear with a slight twinge of excitement. There have been occurrences in my life as of recently, that rock the boat. In a grand way though, an occurrence that will lead me down a path that I have been preparing for over an extended time.

The thought of it excites me, yet the consequences, not all, the main ones, terrify me. They keep me up at night, whenever everyone else in the house is sleeping. When the house is quiet and you can hear it speaking. The creaks and moans... the howling wind... the nuts from the tree dropping on the roof... every little noise. Those noises aren't what keep me up, those are the noises I have to turn to in order to shut out the constant vibrations of my on going thoughts bouncing off the insides of my head.

Tangent... You ever realize how your heart has the hardest time healing? It does. Once it has been shattered so many times, it is so hard to mend it properly. There will always be missing pieces. Usually the pieces are important ones.