Sunday, October 11, 2009

We are family... sing it now!!!

Do you know what one of the greatest things that has ever come from my adult life is (outside of my 3 children)?

It is the on growing relationship that I have with my sister, Michelle. We have always been sisters... all 29 of my years, but there have been so many things between us that had kept us at such an awkward distance. Now, we are older and I could not imagine a day that I couldn't or wouldn't talk to her.

Here is some background....

My mother and her first husband preceded me with my two oldest siblings (Treva and Danny). My father and his first wife preceded me with my other two older siblings (Michelle and Christopher). Then my mother and father met. Their stories slightly different and with significant differences. Well, I was the product of the love they once shared. (later to me was my youngest sister Diana from my mother and two step brothers from my father's third marriage Michael and David... Corky to me... and two men I will always without hesitation call my brothers).

Well, shortly after my birth my parents married and then divorced by the time I was 2 years old. During their time together they graced this planet with my presence... ahahahahaha!!!

Well, after their divorce I slightly recall being a young child being able to see my father. Not sure what had happened.... that ceased to take place. Until a time when the courts set it up for visitation for me and my dad, and his required child support. During that time, my mother would tell me that my dad denied me as his daughter so I had to have a DNA test done. Well, part of me believed her, she is my mother after all. Well, then once that was all said and done, the courts had asked if I would like to have my proper last name. (then I was given the last name my mom had when she delivered me, which was the last name of her ex-husband) I was sooo super excited... I wanted nothing more at the time to be able to see my dad and share his last name.

I thought that by sharing the same last name as my father would bring him closer to me and make him not hate me anymore. My mother tried every avenue possible to get me to change my mind. Finally, she had succeeded (only for me to find out years later it was a lie- and evil lie) by telling me that my father and my sister, Michelle didn't want me to have the same last name as them. Well, telling an eleven/twelve year old that was devastating... I didn't change my last name!

As the time passed and I was starting to go to see my dad and that part of my family, I was super excited. However, my mother, not so much! Well, it turned out that every chance my mom had she would tell me that my dad had made other plans and didn't want to see me (a few years ago-I found out this side of the story) while telling my father that I didn't want to see them, I had made other plans. After I would cry and beg, she would eventually take me to his house... well, this would be hours after she told him I wasn't coming, so he usually wouldn't be there. This happened for about two years or so. Well, turned out I ended up stopping going to see my dad every other weekend. I was to the point that I was pretty sure that my dad and my sister wanted nothing to do with me. I mean my mother was telling me on an all too often basis.

Well, over the next couple of years, I would see them randomly. Well, it stunk! Being a teenager was enough, not easy at all! But to have your mother telling you that your father, his family, and your sister hate you.... doesn't make you want to see them every other weekend.

I tried here and there to bridge the gap, and at times it would go smoothly and at others quite awkwardly. I had started getting serious in a relationship and wanted to introduce him to my WHOLE family. Strangely, my bonds with my dad began to grow, and I thought that it was only that they liked the guy I was seeing.

Well years passed with more awkwardness and some serious trying...but oddly enough it took my sister, Michelle moving to Virginia to for us to get closer. Over the past several years, we have become so close. I can't imagine a day that I wouldn't be able to just pick up the phone to call her up or even the other way around.

I have the sister I have always wanted... and the thought just makes me smile!!!! We are currently planning her wedding. I am so excited and honored to be her matron of honor. I want to do her good, I want to make sure that she has everything she wants.


Jen said...

I'm glad you have such a great relationship with your sister!

But damn you!!! Now, all I'm singing in my head is "We Are Family"

Hope your happy!