Monday, January 31, 2011


I guess you can say that I do miss being a part of a relationship. I have been doing some serious thinking and no longer smashing down every emotion that comes to the surface. No, I am not looking for one. No, I am not swooning over anyone.

I notice the twinge I get when I see two people together... that awe... that oh, i miss that! hahaha... it is silly. I am not worried about ever finding anyone. I don't fret over it. I really am content where I am. I enjoy being just me!

Yet, there are those times when I do miss it. I miss saying good morning to someone. Or telling them good night. I miss that giggly butterfly feeling when I know I'm going to see them. I miss that feeling of being some one's somebody. If that makes any sense.

I am happy being me. I like being me! I think I'm pretty awesome... hahahaha.... Yet, I also miss being some one's babe, honey, sweetie... innamorata. I was called that once... A long time ago. That was the last time I was someone to somebody. The last time I felt so special. He was my tater and I was his gater. I know it's silly... but we were young.

No.... I do not long for that! I don't really long for anything. I just sometimes get a little lonely. I see all the movies with happy endings... I see people holding hands... I see the way people look at one another... It makes me smile for them! I makes me happy for them. It gives me a little feeling of wishing I had that.

So, I was laying in bed... trying to go to sleep. Needing to get rid of this headache that just keeps making a come back when I thought about "Innamorata". I haven't heard this song in YEARS. I used to play it over and over again... It is just such a beautiful song. My Dean Martin CD is missing... it's like it just disappeared into thin air. I have had no luck finding the damned thing online anywhere and now I can't sleep because I just keep singing the one word over and over again in my head! So that is where this post came from... my random thought processes can bring on the strangest of things!

I truly do kill me! hahahahaha