Thursday, February 5, 2009

I will get organized if it kills me

I will get organized if it kills me. Let me start off by saying that it doesn't have to come to the extreme of death to get me organized.

I got the cleaning bug today. I have been doing a little cleaning here and there and I just re-organized my desk.... While doing all this, in between I have been doing research on the specific topic of study I want to pursue... There are so many fascinating fields, I am a little overwhelmed.

I have been a little out of it lately due to some issues with my family, but I think that as long as I keep myself from them, I should be fine. I am not saying that I will completely exile myself or them, but just limit out the contact I have with many of them so that they don't always bring me down.

It is hard to be in the situation I am sometimes. I do not constantly look for that pat on the back, because I know I did a job well done, and my work speaks for itself. Such as, if I cook a great meal or my house is super clean or the kids are well behaved or I have an Associates in Business.

Yet, when I have people who should be a supporter not even acknowledging great accomplishments such as the last mentioned one... It can be quite disheartening. My lil sis decided that she was going to go to nursing school. And if you know my sis you know this is a huge adult move for her. Well, my mom called me very excited and proud like a mother should.

She started off with telling me that my sis was accepted and "We will finally have a professional in the family!" Those were her exact words. Words that cut thru me like a sharp knife slicing a ripe tomato. I was speechless. I had already received my Associates Degree and was working on my Bachelors Program. Yet, that didn't seem to phase her.

For some reason my diploma went to my mother's house (no clue why) and she lost it. She actually lost it. Can you believe that???? It took her a little over a month for find it.

I guess it has always been this way. You can look down the long path of my life and see that I am looked over every time. But I know this and work past it.

Well, since that was completely tangent from where I was going.... I am upset because many members of my family will not be attending my daughter's 5th birthday party. It is not like it is tomorrow and i just you about it today. It has been in the plans for a several weeks and I made it a point to bring it to every one's attention early on. If the reasons were legit and not immature bull or selfishness... then I wouldn't be upset.

Anyway.... I am looking forward to setting myself up to continue on with school and get to where I want to be..... well, that was a whole bunch of nothing.