Friday, December 17, 2010

Wake up sleepy, Jean...

Dreams sure can really mess with the mind. I am prone to having nightmares which would explain why I would rather not sleep some nights. Last night I went to sleep thinking about how hungry I was and how I wanted food! I thought maybe, just maybe that would have been what I dreamt about… Boy was I wrong.

My night was filled with dreams that well, in all wonderful circumstances would have been AMAZING! I dreamt of things that I want out of life. A life of happiness, a man who would love me (without causing me pain), a loving home… Being in the house and he comes home to kiss me hello. Sitting in the backyard watching him play with our children, while I care for the newest little addition. Sitting together just talking about everything or just being in each other arms. A life of simple pleasures!

In today’s day and age, I am sure that all I long for is a mere fantasy… a storybook ending… the fairytale happily ever after. These things don’t usually take place any longer. They are just what they were last night, all a dream!!!

It is a lovely thought though. Thinking that you are so important to someone else, which makes me think of something another mom said the other day about her husband. (Why yes, yes I am random!) We were all talking about relationships and how we have been made to feel. I and one other mom are the divorced one of the group so we didn’t have pleasant stories to tell! Hahaha… Yet, the one mom said she loves her husband so much, but that she doesn’t feel like she is the most important person in his life. That when they had kids, she went from being number 1 to being 3rd place in his heart. Everything revolves around them.

I tried to explain how many parents see things. That once you have children, yes things change. That is a given. Those tiny little babies consume your life. That the love for your child is so different than the love you have for your spouse. That maybe she should tell him that she needs just a little reminder here or there that he does in fact still love her.

Then I started to think… I am a single mom with 3 kids. Yes, one day I want to find my Knight in Shining Armor, not just some whack job wrapped in tin foil riding a donkey. When I do find him he will understand that the love for my children is strong and no matter what it always will be. As, a parent I know that if he were to have children of his own, I would never want to replace them in his heart.

Now that Bon Jovi’s “Keep the Faith” is playing over and over in my mind… I will keep the faith that one day I will find him and I can have that dream come true reality! (ok ok… now that I am done laughing at my own fantasy, I will be on my way)