Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Lumps and paranoia

So I have been toying with the idea of even posting this blog. It is something that I have pretty much kept to myself, only having told my husband not that long ago. However, I am a little worried at this point. Now most people believe me to be a hypochondriac, and I will confess I was a pretty bad one. And you must admit I have gotten better over the years.

I found a lump on my left breast in November of 2008. I figured it was nothing and that I would just start to make sure that it was still there or that it would just leave over time. I usually do a Self Breast Exam, but wasn't doing them regularly. That all changed as of November. The beginning of the month is when I had decided to start my monthly checks. I know that it is usually best to do this about a week after your cycle but due to the Mirena, that is not an option.

December rolled around and the lump was still there. I had also started to notice that I was having a feeling in my breast that felt as though my milk was coming in. For you nursing moms, you know the feeling you get just before you start to leak... That was the feeling that I started to get. Shortly after the pain and sensitivity started. So I told my husband that I had found a lump and it has been there for a month. I am not jumping to anything, just wanted to let him know it had me a little freaked. I decided I would keep checking.

January, it was still there. The pain was still there is as well, it wasn't and usually isn't a constant pain, but a pain all the same. Also, women you know the tender feeling you get before you start or right when you find out you are pregnant (which ever applies to you)... I have that 24/7.

February, still there.... I began to think maybe I should get this checked out. Yet, that month we went without insurance from a job switch. I started doing some research to better educate myself in the different reasons woman have lumps in their breasts. Most of it was slightly confusing, but a good portion led me to believe that it was just a hormonal change. I also began to think about how my left breast is sooo much bigger than the right one. It is not just slightly noticeable but very much so. I know that size differences are normal... but it only added to the paranoia.

March.... I checked again, just yesterday.... It is still there. The area is main region for the pain, yet the tenderness is slightly spread out some. The lump feels like a little knot... A bit bigger than a pea. I am working on finding the information on my new insurance so that I can confirm that my doctor is in our new network. Once I have confirmed that information I will be calling her to get an appointment.

I am still not jumping to any conclusions, but I would much rather be a bit paranoid and be informed that it is normal or something not as serious as cancer. I believe that my fear of getting breast cancer is playing into my crazed thoughts at this point. I know that I am still at an early age, and that the majority of cancer in my family is located in aunts and uncles. Yet, I am also aware that not all cases are as cut and dry as genetics.

I guess I am just worn down from everything else that I have going on, that keeping this in wasn't working any longer. I promise to keep you updated, once I know more.
The picture is of my sister Michelle, her daughters, Abbey and Olivia, my daughter Cadence and myself. Until a later time... much love to you all.


Jen said...

I really hope everything turns out to be fine. Maybe it is just a cyst of some sort. I have read that there are some cysts that make the area around the lump sore.

I will be keeping my fingers crossed for you that everything is well.